


Stay

by Johngoode



Category: Supernatural
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-01
Updated: 2020-06-01
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:20:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24486553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Johngoode/pseuds/Johngoode
Summary: Supernatural Tale that takes place between the season four episodes of Heaven and Hell and Family Remains
Relationships: Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester
Comments: 1
Kudos: 9





	Stay

_And I thought I'd live forever_

_But now I'm not so sure_

_You try to tell me that I'm clever_

_But that won't take me anyhow_

_Or anywhere with you_

_You said I was naive_

_And I thought that I was strong_

_I thought “Hey I can leave, I can leave.”_

_But now I know that I was wrong_

_Cause I missed you_

_Yeah, I miss you_

**Lisa Loeb**

**Stay**

I wish I couldn't feel anything Sammy. I wish I couldn't feel a damn thing.

“You want fries?”

Dean stared out the diner window lost in thought. Sam cleared his throat and tried again “Dean? You want fries?”

Dean's head whipped around and looked at his brother “What?”

Sam's voice was slow and exaggerated “Fries? The french kind? Eat?”

Dean made a face as he nodded “I ain't retarded Sammy, I know what fries are.”

Sam looked back at the waitress and held up two fingers “All the way with fries.”

They were both silent as the lady walked away from their table, the sounds of the jukebox filling the uneasy silence for a few minutes. After the song ended Sam said “So it's getting cold.”

Dean didn't even look away from the window as he said “It's December 22nd Sam. What did you want bikinis?”

In a wry voice Sam said “Nah they always make me look fat.”

Dean slowly looked over at him and saw Sam waiting for a smile...and Dean had to admit, the idea of his huge ass brother in a bikini was funny. He finally let out a chuckle and shook his head “You just can't let someone be miserable can you?”

Sam grinned as he saw his brother turn in the booth to face him “Nope. Call it payback for all those times you insisted on not letting me go to bed upset when we were growing up.”

Dean took a swig of his beer as he said “Yeah but you were my little sister, that was my job.”

Sam kicked him under the table as he said “Well it's my turn to take care of you,”

Dean's smile didn't waver but his eyes got cold “I'm fine Sam.”

“No.” Sam said taking a drink of his own beer “You're not.”

Dean sighed “Oh god. You're serious about this?”

Sam nodded as the waitress set down their plates “Payback's a bitch.”

Dean grabbed the ketchup bottle “No. You are a bitch.”

“Jerk” Sam said grabbed the bottle from his brother's hand in one motion. He gave Dean a grin that had pissed his older brother off since he was ten. Part smug, part 'Nah nah you can't touch me.' it made Dean growl and smile at the same time.

This was going to be a long couple of days.

As they walked to the car Sam held out his hand “I'll drive.”

Dean looked at him “Since when?”

Sam's eyes narrowed “Since whenever Dean.” his hand still up. He saw Dean just staring at him and he added “Seriously.”

Dean grumbled something under his breath and tossed the keys at him as Sam grinned. He slipped into the driver's seat and adjusted the seat. Dean looked over at him “You know after the Ipod you should never be allowed to look at this car again.”

Sam rolled his eyes as he pulled out of the parking lot and headed out of town. He hoped Dean wasn't paying attention to where he was heading. Dean shoved in Theater of Pain into the tapedeck, by the time it got to Home Sweet Home, Dean was out like a light, his head rested against the passenger window as he drooled sightly down his chin. Sam smiled as he got into the interstate...he had to fly if this was going to work.

Seven hours later Dean awoke to darkness as the countryside rushed past his window. The interior of the car was quiet as he sat up and rubbed his eyes. Where the hell were they? Had they been going somewhere before he nodded off? He cracked the window slightly to get some cold air on his face as Sam asked “You awake?”

“No” Dean croaked as the crisp air cut as his face in a very pleasant way. Wherever they were it was cold. Balls cold. He rolled the window back up and he pulled out his phone “Where are we?”

“Near Buffalo.” Sam answered watching the road.

“Ohio?” Dean's voice was incredulous.

“You know another?” Sam asked with an arched eyebrow.

Dean looked at the time on his cell “Why didn't you wake me?”

Sam shrugged “Why? I'm good.”

Dean closed the phone “Where the hell are we going?”

“Um, Buffalo?” Sam offered.

  
“Why?” Dean's voice was getting harsher by the word. He hated this game, where Sam made him pull each and every fact out of him like he was a freaking prisoner of war or something.

Without missing a beat Sam said “Think I found a job.”

“A job?” Dean asked. Nod. “In Buffalo?” Another nod. “While I was asleep and you were driving?” Sam paused for a moment. “Sam” Dean's voice was now almost a growl.

“I got something to do in Buffalo.” Sam said shutting down this line of inquiry.

Dean's eyes fumed as he contemplated tossing his brother's ass out of the driver's seat into the back. In the best tone he could muster he said “This something have to do with a demon whore?”

Sam's eyes grew hard as his hands gripped the steering wheel tightly. Dean could sense Sam counting to some ridiculously high number in his oversized head before answering “No.” was all he said, but there was more than enough bitterness in that one syllable for an entire book.

Dean leaned back in the seat and watched Sam drive. He wanted to believe him...he really did. But at this point...he wasn't sure of anything anymore. Sam pulled off a half hour later into Buffalo, they stopped at a motel that seemed way too familiar to Dean. As Sam parked he asked “We been here before?”

Sam nodded “Last year.” was all he said as he got out.

Dean got out and jogged to keep up with Sam's angry pace “When last year?”

Sam shrugged “Just last year.”

Dean's mind scrambled as he struggled to remember what the hell was happening last year...but last year on Earth seemed to long ago now...so much time had been lost in Hell...he knew he had no chance of figuring it out. Sam had already slapped his credit card and gotten them a room before Dean could question it further. Sam spun around and tossed Dean a key to the room “I need to run a few errands.” he said casually. Dean's mouth began to open in protest and Sam handed over the car keys “I'll rent a car for the week.”

“The week?” Dean practically tripped over his own words.

Sam shoved his hands into his jacket pocket “Yep. A week...maybe more.” He began to walk away from the motel.

“What the fuck are we going to do here for a week?” he called out to Sam.

But he didn't answer.

An hour later Dean had unpacked the Impala and called Bobby. He had no idea what kind of job might be in Buffalo, he hadn't heard anything recently. But then again with everything that had been going down...he might have missed something that Sam hadn't.

“It's about Ruby.” Dean said sitting on the edge of the bed flipping through the porn channels.

“Dean, you need to start trusting your brother again.” Bobby said over the phone “Have you wondered how hard it was when you were gone for him?”

Dean closed his eyes as the screams of hundreds of innocent souls crashed in his head from his time in hell. His knuckles were white as he gripped the phone tightly. In his best poker voice he said “Things were tough all over Bobby.”

The older hunter's voice got harsh “Look Dean I didn't rent a tux for your pity party so you'll excuse my lack of tact but son. Get the fuck over it.” Dean's breath for a moment as Bobby's voice came screaming out of the receiver “From what you just told me you did some pretty nasty things when you were down in Hell. Horrible things that you are ashamed of now. Am I right?”

Dean sat there, his eyes closed as the smell of blood filled his nostrils. He nodded at first and realized Bobby wasn't there “Yeah Bobby. I did.”

And in a much softer tone Bobby asked “Well don't you think you brother might have done the same kind of things while you were gone?” Dean said nothing “And as bad as you are hurting right now for what you did...and want someone to forgive you...don't you think Sam might be feeling the same thing?” More nothing from Dean. “You're both hurting Dean. One of you needs to let it go first.”

Dean took a deep breath, and his mental shield slammed shut over his memories. He sat up straighter and in a harsh voice he said “Bobby, I haven't forgiven myself for the things I did down there. Hell I might never.”

“Yeah and?”

“What makes you think I am anywhere ready to forgive him then?” and he hung up the phone. He sat there for a very long time...praying to a god he didn't believe in to take this pain away. After twenty minutes he got up and took off to a liquor store. God might not be taking requests but he knew Jack, Jim and Jose were always open to negotiation.

When he woke the next morning Sam was asleep in the other bed. Dean's head felt like it was three times too large as he struggled to focus on the clock between the beds. It was either 12:44 or 12:12 or 44:44. None of those times made sense so he collapsed back into the pillow. The next time he opened his eyes it was late afternoon and Sam was gone.

After a shower and about ten minutes of brushing his tongue Dean called Sam's cell. After four rings he picked up “Dean?”

“Where are you?” he asked, there was no sound behind Sam but his voice was echoing a bit.

“I'm checking something out.” he said obviously sidestepping the question “You ok?”

Dean's voice went from 3 to 12 in seconds flat “I'm not the one who drove us to Ohio and then took off!” he struggled to reign in his anger “What the hell is going on Sam?”

Sam paused for a second and then said “Tomorrow. I'll show you tomorrow.”

He had had enough “Sam. I do not have time for this Dora the Explorer shit. What is going...” he had more but Sam cut him off.

“Tomorrow night Dean. I promise.” and he hung up.

Several impulses went through Dean's mind. He resisted throwing the phone against the wall just to watch it shatter. He fought calling the phone company and turning on Sam's GPS to track him down. He barely stopped himself from packing the Impala up and just leaving. He finally decided on getting sloppy drunk again...this time maybe with someone else. After all, if Sam wasn't going to use the room...didn't mean Dean couldn't enjoy it.

The next afternoon Dean blinked himself awake.

The girl was gone...he sat up and rubbed his head...there was a girl right? He looked over to the nightstand and saw the torn wrapper for a condom and more than a few beer bottles. He silently prayed there was a girl as he made his way to the bathroom and tried to bring himself back to life.

When he got out Sam was sitting at the small table eating tacos. There was a bag across from him as well “Hey” Sam said between bites “Barbacoa on flour, extra cilantro and onions”

Dean's stomach actually made a sound as he sat down and tore open the bag “You're a freaking saint!” he said unwrapping the warm tinfoil.

Sam chuckled as he downed another himself. The two of them finished enough food for a small army in the next half hour. As the last of the meal vanished they both sat back at the table, the pleasant afterglow of a repast well consumed. After about ten minutes Dean said “So you gonna tell me what this is all about?”

Sam looked over to him with lazy eyes, he struggled against the food coma as he shook his head “Nope.” Dean's eyes narrowed as Sam added quickly “But I'll show you.”

Dean wanted to press for more information but Sam got up and grabbed the keys off the table in one motion “Come on.” he said walking towards the door.

Dean grabbed his jacket off the back of the chair and followed Sam, curious to know where this was going. As they drove out of town Dean could no believe how dead it was. Finally he looked over “Was it The Rapture or did I miss something?”

Sam looked at him questioningly “What?”

Dean jerked a thumb towards the window “The town. Where the hell are the people?”

Sam chuckled “At home I assume.” he shook his head as he kept driving.

Dean was ready to argue, but between his hangover and the food, he just didn't have it in him. He leaned his head against the cool glass and dozed off as Sam drove to his mystery location.

“Dean.” Sam said “Wake up!”

Dean's head popped up as he realized they weren't moving anymore. He rubbed his eyes he looked out the window. His mouth dropped half open as he realized where they were. “Why are we here?” he asked as Sam got out of the car.

“Pull the car inside ok?” Sam said walking over to the storage rental's door.

Dean scooted over to the driver's side while he wondered why Sam would have brought them back to Black Rock, back to their dad's storage facility after all this time. As Dean pulled the car in he thought they hadn't been here since Bella had those two chowder heads break in and steal the cursed rabbit's foot from the hex locker it had been sealed in. Dean didn't even know this place was still here, he had assumed Sam had set Bobby to clear this place out. As he turned off the car he saw the hex boxes were gone, in fact a lot of stuff had been cleared out of here but there was still a good portion of dad's stuff all around.

Dean got out of the car “Ok Sam, spill it. Why in the world are we here?”

Sam smiled as he moved over to where a black drape covered a chain link fence and with all the flourish of a stage magician pulled it back with one hand and gestured with another. Inside was a small Christmas tree with lights and ornaments twinkling on it...wrapped presents under it. Dean sat there stunned, his mouth gaping open as he struggled to comprehend what he was looking at.

After a minute he looked to Sam “It's Christmas?”

  
Sam laughed “Why did you think the town was deserted? Everything is closed.”

  
Sam went over and pulled open the fence, allowing access to the tree. Dean could see there was a bowl of eggnog, and if last year's batch was any indication Dean could always clean the Impala engine with what was left over. There were garlands of tinsel hung over the place and as Dean walked forward he saw Sam click on a small CD player and Christmas carols filled the storage place.

  
Dean was befuddled as he said “But you hate Christmas.”

Sam poured them both a cup “I hated Christmas.” he amended “I hated last Christmas most of all.” he handed Dean the cup.

“Why?” Dean asked smelling the booze from here.

Sam cocked his head “Really? You have to ask that?”

Dean looked away as he downed the cup and then coughed “Right...so if you hated it so much why all this?”

Sam took Dean's empty cup and replaced it with is on full one. As he refilled it he explained “I hated that Christmas so much...it was so...so...lame.” he finally said walking back to his brother. “I remember thinking that if I had half a brain I would have realized that it meant something to you and really did it right. But instead I was so caught up in saving you and...” he stopped “...well I was stupid. But I swore to myself if I did save you...if there was another Christmas...I would do it right.” he said forcing the emotion out of his voice “Do it like you deserved.”

Dean felt his throat tighten slightly and with a half smile he said “But Sam...I hate Christmas also. That was just cause of...you know.”

Sam nodded “I know. But that comes from us having shitty Christmas' growing up!” he put the cup down and moved over to the tree “I figured if we had another chance...we could start a new tradition. Do it right from the start.” he said looking away “You know make good memories to put over the bad ones.”

Dean shook his head slowly as he took in the scene in silence. Sam downed his own cup and sighed “Look Dean I know were aren't...I mean we have issues. And I know we have a long way before we are ever...you know right.” he said his eyes locking with Dean's “But it is Christmas, and you are alive. Can we, for just one night, forget it and be a family?” Dean could see the tears forming in Sam's eyes “Can we just put it all on hold for twenty four hours and try to be happy?” he wiped his eyes “I swear to you tomorrow you can go back to hating me and mistrusting me all you want. Just for tonight...can we be brothers like we used to be?”

Dean felt his own eyes begin to sting as he choked a half strangled laugh “Sam we were never brothers like this.”

Sam's eyes were like huge pools of sorrow “I know. That's the problem.”

Dean finally sighed and put his own cup down as he shrugged his jacket off “Ok fine. But I warn you I got nothing for you at all.”

Sam smiled “You're alive Dean. That was all I wanted for this Christmas.”

Dean moved over to the tree “Jesus Sammy...you sound like my girlfriend or something.”

Sam chuckled as he pointed to a chair “You wish. Ok sit down, I'll give you the first gift.”

  
Dean sat down, bemused that Sam had done all this. Maybe Bobby was right, maybe this had kicked Sammy in the balls as hard if not harder than Dean. After all, Dean knew he was dead and in Hell. He had given up hope he was ever getting out of that place but Sam...Sam had to still draw breath and live with knowing he had promised Dean he would save him...

And failed.

Dean forced all that out of his mind as Sam handed him a wrapped box. Dean grabbed it and jiggled it “What the hell is it? You fill this with rocks as a joke?” he asked holding the box with suspicion.

Sam grinned as he shook his head “Open it.”

Dean slowly tore the paper back and lifted the box open..and gasped. Inside was mint condition Rochester 4 barrel carburetor, completely stripped down just begging to be built. Dean looked up at Sam in quiet awe. Sam just grinned and said “I know when you rebuilt her Bobby didn't have a lot of original parts.” he said gesturing down to the tree. Dean scrambled, putting the box down as if it held crystal and ripped open another package. Inside was a set of four handles, all very obviously original Impala. As Dean tore through package after package, finding more pristine Impala parts Sam rolled out a a set of four circular presents on a handjack. Dean, presents still in hand, turned and looked up at Sam “And four never used, rims, still with their serial numbers on them.” he said proudly he remembered all this stuff “The owner said he had bought them back in the day and never got to use them.”

Dean knelt there completely silent.

“Dean?” Sam asked wondering if buying anything for the Impala without asking Dean was a good idea after all. He had done his research, but honestly besides one roadside lesson by Dean, Sam had a better chance of fixing a space shuttle than a car. Sighing Sam said “I'm sorry, I know how you feel about your car, I just thought...”

And something slammed into him. Sam jumped back in surprise and felt Dean's arms wrapped around him tightly. He could feel warm tears fall on his shoulder as Dean said in a barely audible voice “Thank you Sammy. You were right.”

Sam patted Dean on the back warmly “Right about what?”

Dean held on to him with a death grip “Payback is a bitch...this is exactly what I needed.”

Sam smiled and felt himself relax “I figured we could stash out here for the week...and you could show me where all this goes.” he said “You know...like a vacation?”

Dean pulled back, his eyes puffy and red as he grinned “Do you honestly think I am letting you get anywhere near my car?”

“Hey I took care of it well enough!” Sam protested.

Dean shook his head turning back to the tree “Oh hell no Sammy...the Ipod alone ensures...that car will never be yours.” he looked back at him and said “There is no way I am leaving alone with that car again.”

Sam saw the look in Dean's eyes and smiled back as for the first time in a long time...he felt something other than shame and hate “You better not.” was all he could muster out without bawling again.”

Dean looked back at the tree with all the glimmer of a six year old looking at a bright, new train set. He rubbed his hands in anticipation “You brought beer right?”

Sam nodded “Lots of beer.”

Dean reached out to one of the boxes “Ok then...we start here.” he said patting the ground next to him. Sam grabbed two bottle of beer and sat cross legged next to his brother “...these are the injectors...you need to inspect these to make sure they are straight. Cause if they aren't...”

Sam nodded as he listened to his brother's voice. It was the best Christmas ever...

At least until next year.


End file.
